Verizon - America's Largest 3G Tool

So, my cell phone contract is expiring in a couple weeks, and so I've been looking around a bit to see who can give me the best deal.  However, I do have a slight inclination towards Verizon.  So, I was shopping on their website, trying to find what would work for me and make some estimates of the costs.  While I'm surfing, a pop-up window shows up, asking me if I'd like to chat with a sales associate.   At first I think, "That's a little weird and creepy."  Then I think, "Maybe I can talk this schmoe into giving me a discount or something."  So I start talking to my new friend, Jarrod.  At first, he was really rote and boring.  Then I said, "Do you have to just read what the script says, or can you say what you want?"  To which he replied, "Lol (the perennial signal of "We're friends now") I can say what I want."  So basically I told him I had no reason to switch other than money, so he should waive the activation fee, just to lure me over to Verizon.  It soon became apparent that Jarrod was nothing but a tool, and could do me no good.

So, I asked my friend Erin to give me four random words, which she did: folder, scissors, lotion, and Honda.  I then proceeded to try to make Jarrod use these four words.  Lotion was easy, I asked about the humidity in his area and if he needed to use lotion (he's in Alabama, so no lotion).  For scissors, I asked him to use his "special price-cutting scissors to hook me up (again, he's a tool - no scissors).  For Honda I made an analogy between Verizon being Honda and T-Mobile being Toyota and asked him why I would want to drive a Honda when I could have a Toyota (according to Jarrod "Hondas are pimper."  Tool.)

However, I was stumped on folder, and Jarrod kicked me off of the thing before I could come up with anything.  He must have caught on to the game.  Or maybe he had an urgent quest to attend to on World of Warcraft, for he is a tool.  Anyway, I'm sure this witty and clever family will be full of suggestions.

Bubba