Amateurs

I have noticed the recent anti-Bubba sentiments floating around on this blog.  I, of course, am far too mature and charitable to return the kind of libel that has been thrown my way.  I will however, point out a flaw in what's been going on.  I am, after all, the favorite, therefore, I am totally qualified to give advice on how to make your siblings look bad in order to gain favor with the padres.

Here is the most critical flaw:  You've ganged up.  Because both Sarah and Catherinanonymous decided to post such filth so closely together, I now have the benefit of pity.  Dad (we won't even talk about Mom, because she's pretty much beyond anyone's grasp) will see that his two daughters are speaking such horrible things about his youngest son, and feel sorry.  He will realize that the girls are jealous, and that their motives are born out of hatred and bitterness.  Therefore, rather than listening to what they say, he will simply shake his head in sorrow at his modern-day Laman and Lemuel and continue to heap praise, honor, and glory on his beloved Bubba.  Err, Nephi.  Well, Sam I guess.

At any rate, the point I'm trying to make is that this sibling rivalry is going nowhere.  Who cares who the favorite is anyway?  Of course, that's easy for me to say, being the favorite.  But seriously, if you want to debate this kind of thing, take it elsewhere.  Let's keep the blog open so we can enjoy our family bond.

Love,

Bubba

(See that?  See what I did right there?  Now Dad will think, "Man, Bubba sure is mature, and he sure does care about our family.  Cathy and Sarah just want a bigger share of our will.  No wonder Bubba is the favorite.  In fact, I should go put a bunch of money in his bank account."  Take notes, amateurs.)